


(un)Faithful

by rosesandthorons



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Minor Character Death, Overbearing Family, drunk phone calls, fodlan holiday season, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandthorons/pseuds/rosesandthorons
Summary: Back when he dated Felix, he was a lot more stupid. He thought that he could hide their relationship--which Father Gautier would vehemently disapprove-- without any consequences.That it wouldn’t end in him hurting the person he cared so deeply for when it became too difficult to keep up the charade.
Relationships: Implied Past Relationships - Relationship, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	(un)Faithful

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by a song. the idea has been haunting me for months and I finally gave in and wrote this.
> 
> try to guess what the song is in the comments! :)

It’s no surprise that Sylvain finds himself sprawled on his couch at 3AM mindlessly watching infomercials in a desperate attempt to lull him to sleep.

He has been playing this game for over a year. Sleep is merely some abstract concept to him at this point, since he never seems to find it anymore. It’s not like he can’t function normally. He’s gotten used to the constant pressure in his temples from the fatigue. And, after approximately five cups of the strongest Dagda blend coffee he could find, he can actually produce coherent thoughts that get him passing grades on his assignments.

It’s not like he hasn’t had to pretend to be something he isn’t before. As a Gautier, Sylvain has had to maintain the pristine family image that his father’s father’s father’s father worked so hard to establish.The Gautier family is well-known across Fodlan for their business endeavors. Things are still very old-fashioned among the longest-standing elites of Fodlan, despite the fact that the rest of the world has become much more progressive. Sylvain and his brother have endured being shackled by archaic traditions and ideologies for the entirety of their lives. However, Father Gautier’s biggest mistake was getting a computer for the family, because the internet allowed Sylvain and Miklan to realize that their way of life is not the societal norm. That people can and do live freely. 

Miklan’s clear distaste for the way his father treated them got him kicked out on the streets. Sometimes Sylvain wishes he could be more like Miklan and tell his parents to fuck off, but he doesn’t quite have the heart to do so. His parents love him, right? If he acted out against them, that would hurt them and then he would be left alone, too. He wants his parents to be proud of him, so he will continue to be faithful towards their wishes.

_It would cause too much of a scandal. The good Gautier name would be ruined._

That’s what he told Felix three years ago when he ended their secret relationship, despite every other voice in his head screaming at him to not do so. Luckily the breakup was clean: they immediately blocked each other on social media and phased quietly out of each other's lives with no one the wiser. 

Now he just has to add 'miserable, sleep-deprived gremlin' to his growing list of things he needs to pretend he is not. 

Back when he dated Felix, he was a lot more stupid. He thought that he could hide their relationship--which Father Gautier would vehemently disapprove-- without any consequences.That it wouldn’t end in him hurting the person he cared so deeply for when it became too difficult to keep up the charade. That's mostly because Father Gautier would set him up with a different date every week, and Felix didn't like the idea of Sylvain spending so much time with random girls instead of him. Sylvain could never really be faithful to Felix, because he could only ever be completely faithful to his father's wishes.

Sylvain tells himself that he has gotten over Felix, despite the ache he feels in his chest whenever he sees a raven-haired person pass by him, or when he goes past the coffee shop where they first met. Since they parted ways, Sylvain has thrown himself even more into his studies in preparation for taking over the family business. He graduated last year and started classes towards his MBA, along with a lucrative intern position at a major international trade corporation. He has had time to mature and realize how destructive and selfish his previous lifestyle was.

He also has a girlfriend and soon-to-be-fiancée now-- a pretty PR intern who is the daughter of a politician. They’ve moved in together, after receiving his father’s blessing. Not surprising, given the fact that his father had set up the relationship. Sylvain's father is very sick, which has led the old man to pressure Sylvain even more to marry. The old man is too proud to divulge the details of his illness even to him, but Sylvain knows that his time must be coming soon. Father Gautier wants to see the birth of his next heir before it's too late.

However, in the back of his mind Sylvain has wondered what it would be like to live freed from the heavy shackles of the Gautier legacy. He hasn't acknowledged this part of him yet. However, it is also this side of his mind that makes him hesitant to ask his girlfriend for her hand in marriage.

Sylvain finds himself thinking about all of these things at 3AM while some infomercial for a four saints tea set drones on the TV. It's a limited edition holiday special, perfect for that special someone in your life.

_Does he really want to perpetuate this toxic lifestyle? To make another innocent soul suffer with his burdens?_

The faint buzzing of his phone captures Sylvain’s attention. At some point it ended up on the floor, so he has to peel himself clumsily off of the couch to get it.

His heart drops when he sees Felix’s grumpy face on the screen. His sentimental side decided that the only shred of Felix that he would keep was his contact ID in his phone, because the likelihood of Felix ever calling him was precisely zero. Even when they were dating, Felix almost never used his phone, and would sometimes take days to respond to a text.

_Guess he was mistaken._

Against his better judgment, Sylvain accepts the call.

Immediately, he hears someone--presumably Felix-- sniffling. 

_Felix doesn’t cry._ He didn’t even cry when they--

Before he could finish that thought, Sylvain whispers, “Hello?”

“Sylvain...”

His heart skips a beat when he hears that voice say his name. 

“It’s late, you know.” 

He doesn’t really know what else to say right now. All of these emotions that he tried so hard to bury are suddenly rushing back to him, like a sucker punch to the gut. 

“Sylvain, you’re such an asshole,” the voice hisses quietly between sniffles.

There’s absolutely no denying it’s Felix now. Hearing him say Sylvain’s name like that makes Sylvain realize that he never really did get over Felix.

Sylvain also knows that Felix has been drinking tonight, based off of how he is acting.

“You’re crying, Fe. Is everything okay?”

Sylvain realizes too late that he used his nickname for Felix. It just seemed natural for him to use it. 

He hears a sharp intake of breath over the phone, which conjures the image of Felix’s perfectly-shaped lips in Sylvain’s mind.

His mind fixates on the beauty mark on Felix’s lower lip. He remembers what it feels like to run his tongue over its slightly-raised surface. He can taste copper and pine needles, because kisses with Felix were rough but grounding--much like his personality.

“You actually answered," Felix breathes. "I called because…"

Felix pauses, leaving Sylvain's already-overactive imagination to try to fill in the blank.

_Because Felix misses him?_

That's giving Sylvain too much credit. He has been nothing but a dick. Felix shouldn't miss a person like him. He deserves better than that.

_Because Felix hates him?_

The most likely scenario. He acted terribly towards Felix. 

"I love you."

That is completely unexpected. With those three words, the long-repressed thoughts and desires in Sylvain bubble to the surface of his consciousness. Despite everything, Felix still loves him.

_Does he deserve real love?_

He wants to take the ring his father made him buy and throw it out the window.

_Maybe this is just a dream._

"Say something, Sylvain." 

Another shiver runs down his spine when he hears Felix say his name.

"Fe…"

He hears snoring coming from down the hall, which makes his blood turn to ice. Sylvain slowly begins to come to terms with the situation and accept that this is actually happening. If his girlfriend wakes up, things could get ugly. Sylvain learned the hard way that she is very possessive.

"My girlfriend," he says weakly. "She's asleep in the bedroom. I have to be careful not to wake her up."

Using the last shred of common sense he has, Sylvain decides to move to the kitchen, where it is much less likely that he will be heard.

"How long are you going to keep living this lie?" 

Felix's tone becomes more scathing and direct, and Sylvain can no longer hear any sniffling. Despite the fact that Felix is not completely sober, he could still call Sylvain out on his bullshit. There's no hiding anything from the ever-perceptive Felix.

"I don't know, Fe.” Sylvain sighs heavily. His tone is earnest. “More times than I can count, I have looked into her eyes and tried to find you. I never could."

Felix huffs loudly into the phone. "Insatiable."

Sylvain wishes with every fiber of his being that he could see Felix's expression right now. He tried so hard to convince himself that what he was doing was for the best, but he knew all along that the life he is living now is not what he wants to continue to be. 

He thinks of the taste of Felix's lips again, because he really is insatiable. Felix tastes like the freedom he so desperately wants.

When Felix speaks again, his voice is softer, his tone more careful. “I’m the same way. Every time I look at him, I expect to see your dimples, or your stupid smile. I can't take it anymore.”

Sylvain can picture Felix's face, flushed red from embarrassment and perhaps the alcohol. He could also tell by how muffled Felix's voice sounds that he must be trying to hide his face in something-- most likely his shirt. This phone call is making it very hard for Sylvain to imagine continuing the life that he is living now.

"I guess we never really moved on, huh?"

"In spite of everything," Felix whispers.

They both sit in charged silence, unsure of what to say next. Finally, Sylvain speaks up.

"It's really good to hear your voice."

That's all his fried brain can come up with in the moment, but he truly means it. 

Felix remains silent. Sylvian can hear his uneven breathing.

"Sylvain…" 

He can hear hesitation, or perhaps Felix is just struggling to find words as well. Sylvain hopes it is the latter.

"Felix," he breathes, the name rolling more confidently off his tongue. Before he could continue his next train of thought, Felix cuts him off.

"The light festival. I'll be at the Goddess Tower right before the ceremony starts."

Every year on the 25th day of the Ethereal Moon, Garreg Mach holds a magnificent light festival to celebrate the birthdays of the four great saints.

It was at that very festival three years ago that Sylvain had ended his relationship with Felix. The winter air that year seemed more bitter after they parted ways.

"Alone," Felix emphasizes.

Then, Sylvain hears someone else's voice in the background on Felix's end. His stomach drops as he realizes that it's probably Felix's significant other. The last thing he wants is for this phone call to start a fight.

_"--heard you crying. Are you okay?"_

Felix's teeth grind together audibly in frustration. Then, the surreal call abruptly ends.

Felix has been drinking tonight. Is anything that he said tonight really how he feels?

_Will Felix even remember this conversation in the morning?_

Regardless, Sylvain knows he can't go on following his father's ambitions. He wants to live for himself, and buzzed Felix helped him finally acknowledge this.

Today is the 2nd day of the Ethereal Moon.

He has exactly twenty three days to make things right.

* * *

When Sylvain wakes up on the couch much too early the next morning, he feels sore, exhausted, and anxious.

_Does he really have the guts to go through with abandoning his family title?_

His girlfriend yells at him for being lazy and making a mess out of the living room, which really isn't that messy at all aside from Sylvain's blankets, which had ended up on the floor.

Groggy, Sylvain sits up and receives the verbal lashing while contemplating his own thoughts.

He decides to test a theory. "Hey babe, I have a question."

She places her hand on her hip and nods impatiently for him to continue.

"What's my favorite color?"

"I dunno, yellow?"

_No. It's teal._

"How about my favorite food?"

"Uh, steak."

_No. It's cheese gratin._

"What's my middle name?"

"Harold."

_Where did that even come from?_

She is now visibly annoyed and explains that she has to leave. Before she steps out, she sweetly asks to borrow Sylvain's credit card to pick up some groceries.

He knows she's going to go buy clothes instead, just like she did the last time. And the time before that.

She just wants him for his money, for his family name.

She doesn't see him as a person.

When she leaves, Sylvain grabs a notebook and begins to write down what he wants to say to Father Gautier.

* * *

It's ten days before the light festival, and Sylvain is at a funeral. In his pocket, he clutches the hand-written letter that he never got to deliver.

Sylvain cries.

He mourns the relationship with his father that never was.

He laments the shallow life that the Gautiers have lived for generations.

He welcomes the opportunity to finally break free from the Gautier name. Sylvain wonders if at one point in his life, his father had wished for the same thing.

* * *

After the service, Sylvain breaks it off with his girlfriend.

She cries, but he could tell the tears are fake.

* * *

Five days before the light festival, Sylvain is meeting with his father's lawyers and accountants. 

He is not taking over the Gautier business.

As the stuffy men desperately try to convince him to uphold the Gautier legacy, Sylvain's thoughts wander to the image of Felix's lips.

* * *

The day before the light festival, Sylvain finds himself wandering the holiday market. He happens upon a stall where a lovely old lady is selling hand-made trinkets. There are little statues of the four saints, painted in bright colors. Small baubles and wooden ornaments with religious imagery carved into them also line the stall. 

Something small catches Sylvain's eye. A small glass ornament with a beautiful flower carefully preserved within it. The deep indigo on its petals fan out like spilled ink, becoming lighter towards the edges.

The old lady smiles. “The gladiolus flower got its namesake because it looks like a sword. It symbolises faithfulness, resolve, and strength. It’s quite uncommon, but I found one growing near the riverbank and felt that it would make a beautiful treasure for someone.”

He buys it.

* * *

It's the day of the light festival, and Sylvain feels more nervous now than he has ever felt in his life. 

He hasn't heard from Felix since that phone call.

_Was that phone call just a dream?_

He paces around his empty apartment, wondering if Felix will actually show up tonight.

* * *

Sylvain walks through the crowded streets around Garreg Mach until he reaches the secluded Goddess Tower.

His breath comes out in warm puffs, creating soft mist when it hits the cold winter air.

He stands in front of the door, his heart pounding in his chest. This is the moment of truth.

Gingerly, he opens the door and walks up the winding stone staircase.

He finally reaches the balcony. A familiar silhouette stands at the ledge, observing the festival below.

Sylvain's breath catches in his throat. 

"Took you long enough," Felix says without turning around.

Sylvain dares to walk a step closer. "It was hard to get through the crowd."

Felix hums. "It is the millennium festival, after all. Typical of you to not take something like that into account."

"But I'm here now."

"You are."

Felix finally turns around. His hair has gotten longer. He wears it in a half-bun, the longer strands framing his face gracefully. 

His features have sharpened a bit with age, but he still looks like Sylvain had remembered him.

The frosty winter air has made Felix tug his oversized teal scarf over the lower half of his face to keep warm. Sylvain is disappointed that it is hiding the beauty mark on Felix’s lower lip.

"I have to admit that I was surprised to read the headlines about the Gautier son forsaking his inheritance. I didn't think you'd have the guts."

Felix steps closer to Sylvain, mere inches separating them now. He has a hand on his hip and a fiery look in his eyes.

Sylvain hesitantly lifts his hand to cradle Felix's cheek.

_He's real._

"It's thanks to you that I finally realized what makes life worth living." Sylvain's reverent tone elicits a blush from Felix, which is barely visible in the dim lighting.

"For the record, this isn't some secret midnight tryst that I am doing behind anyone's back. I broke up with that boar, so…"

Felix's blush deepens, and he averts his gaze.

"I also broke things off with my girl. I'm here for you, because you see me for who I really am."

Sylvain's hand moves to Felix's scarf, gently pulling it down. He thinks it's cute that now of all times Felix is struggling to articulate what he wants.

Behind them, fireworks begin to shoot into the night sky, painting the inside of the Goddess Tower with their ethereal glow.

In the dazzling light, Sylvain can see the beauty mark on Felix's lower lip. He gently brushes his thumb over it, which causes Felix's breath to hitch.

"Syl _vain_ ," Felix whines. "Stop teasing."

Without any further delay, Sylvain closes the distance between them.

He will gladly listen to Felix, follow him to the ends of the Earth. Now because he _has_ to, but because he _wants_ to.

* * *

Eventually, the fireworks end and once Felix and Sylvain catch their breath, they descend the Goddess Tower and find a quiet restaurant to warm up in.

When they sit down, Sylvain suddenly remembers the box sitting awkwardly in his coat pocket. 

“Fe, I got you a sword.”

He excitedly pulls out the box and presents it to Felix.

“This doesn’t look like a sword,” Felix says flatly. Despite his tone, he looks pleased to have received a gift.

Felix opens the box and admires the flower within the ornament. There are small hand-painted designs framing the top and bottom of the glass bulb, making the trinket look even more ethereal.

“It’s my promise to be faithful to you. I have realized how much of an idiot I was in the past. I’m no longer that Sylvain--I’m stronger now. I want us to have a second chance.”

His warm brown eyes search Felix’s hard amber ones for an answer.

Felix huffs. “I wouldn’t have sucked face with you for the past hour if I didn’t think you deserve a second chance, idiot.”

* * *

Every year, the ornament with the gladiolus was placed front-and-center on their holiday tree as a reminder of Syvlain and Felix's commitment to one another.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading💖
> 
> I may post a second part of this in Felix's perspective if there is enough interest!


End file.
